... and of all the dream you are the only thing I have left.

(In Dar-es-Salaam)

Everybody sat at the airplane and I was still at the boarding gate's security checkpoint.

‘And her? Is she your wife?’ Asks the officer who had been holding me up for the last ten minutes.

‘No, he is too young to marry.’

‘Definitely too young to marry.’ I say.

‘But marriage is a good thing!’ Says the first.

‘Yes, marriage is a good thing,’ I say, putting on my belt.

‘It brings many good things,’ he says.

‘Many good things.’ I say.

‘Marriage brings responsibility,’ he says.

‘Well, responsibility is still a big word for me.’

‘But you can not be the president if you are not married.’

‘And that is all the reasons that I ever needed.’ The airplane staff come to pry me away.

‘My friend, what about your shoes?’ I heard him shouting after me, but I was already too far down the sleeve to answer.

--

(In Gatwick, with security)

‘Oh, I don’t mind. As long as they don’t send me to Guantanamo for too long.’

‘Yeah, well, I hope you have your orange suit ready.’

‘Will I get my one phone call?’

‘Probably not, we take all your rights away.’

--

(In Gatwick, in a police interview with Mr. Abbot)

‘What do you usually use your bag for?’

‘Carrying stuff.’

‘Hmm. Ask a dumb question. And have you been in trouble with the Police in England before?’

Time's up and this is the last post from Vamizi. I want to thank a few people on my way out:

thank you to all the guests that have drunk at the bar - the grumpy ones, the complicated ones, the simple ones, the laid back ones, the flirty ones. I know most of you loved me in the evening and hated me in the morning, and I admit that maybe Jaeger isn't the best drink to have when you're asking to be sobered up.

thank you to all the Vamizi staff, too many to name, who have made my stay here so great - the people at the dive centre, bar, restaurant, kitchen, housekeeping etc and to all of the senior staff. Nobody was just a colleague and everybody was more than a friend.

thank you to all the people who have contributed to the blog - to the critics (Dad, Julia, Mom, Sophia, Tomas and Will) and to the twins and Marsalgado for all the publicity that they did for me. A special thank you to Ines who was there to give me that gentle push over the edge.

thank you to all the readers, from Washington to Bombay, who took their time to read what I wrote.

‘God, if I knew there was a magical, one-eyed, sodomizing vampire out there, I’d be terrified!’ - Eli

The tides are coming up: a wave just swept over this sandcastle’s wall. Eli’s departure yesterday made me realise how close to leaving I am myself - how fast time flew. Four days to go now.

I tried writing about how important he'd been to my time on the island. It ended up sounding like a funeral speech.

All I want to say is that I'll see you soon old man. I'm sure.

Nothing like the sea

--

Kathy the yoga teacher was in the dive center today. She was saying:

'So, now I have to find a yoga instructor for the guest, who's like cousin to the queen -'

'Which queen?' I asked.

'Gosh, I don't know. The queen of England?'

'But I thought she was Indian!'

'The queen of England?' Kathy asked, surprised.

'Guys,' Eli said. 'This was such a stoner moment.'

'Yeah,' I said. 'It's getting blogged.'

Aldeia, Vamizi

--

All the marinheiros were sitting around a torn sail, fixing it. Nuro, leading and watching them, said:

‘Did you hear of what happened in Pemba back in 2004? There is this madala, this old man. Two robbers went into his house, right? They checked it out and they stole his suitcase and three small wooden cases, all carved up like they do them in Moeda. They thought there’d be gold in them, or jewels or coins. They get home and they open them up. Moment they open the first case, a huge wind starts blowing - howling! They close the case and it stops. Then they open the second case, and rain starts pouring down. When they opened the third case, this storm hits, - what do you call storms?’

‘Ladu.’

‘Yeah, ladu. Thunders flying everywhere. So they closed all the cases and went to the police station and said: I’m sorry, we’re robbers and we took these cases from the madala and this is what happened. When the police came for him he looked them dead in the eyes and said ‘if you take me to prison, I swear that it will rain every single day until my sentence is served.’ They had to let him go. Some guys are ‘manning fodidos’ like that.’ (untranslatable)

The rainbirds have been singing for two days now. Today, it rained, hard and heavy. The sky turned black. The sea turned grey.

Rainbirds never lie.

Where have you gone?

--

There was a magazine at the office. The words ‘Stressed out?’ were heavily circled, an article on an ‘Emergency anti-anxiety eating plan’. On the same cover, two other articles considered ‘is 5 a day enough to fight cancer?’ and ‘Swine Flu: are we facing another health crisis?’

Seems to me the source of your stress is probably all that reading you’ve been doing.

Someone else's island

--

I feel like I’m in a real great point in my life. During my last couple of years, I felt a bit like the motorcycle boy. But now, I want to do everything. The list is endless. I have so many stupid ideas.

Nothing lasts forever.

Never.

My god is better than your god

--

‘Tell me, Jack-’

‘Yes, Leo?’

‘What was that subsidiary I had to let go of the other day?’

‘Wasn’t it The Island, sir?’

‘Oh yes, that was the one. Fetched a very decent price too.’

I am too easily impressed by the wealthy, I bask in their glorious presence in a sort of giddy idolatry. When under these spells, I tend to forget what a funny race rich people really are.

Don't go to Heaven by yourself

--

‘That is life,’ said the pilot with his thick French accent.

‘C’est la vie!’ We all translated for him, laughing. We didn't do it in chorus but we were not far off.

‘Or we have another saying: ‘life is a mess. La vie est un bordel.’

'Life is a brothel?'

'Ah, yes.'

‘So true. And sometimes you work in the brothel, and sometimes you go in it with the money.’

Philosophy, in different languages. There was more to this dialogue but it trailed off into sexual analogies too graphic to be published.